Tag Archives: relationships

All These Flavors… And You Choose Salty

The Author Yani
The Author Yani

Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back! I hope everyone had an awesome week and is ready to start this new week off with a POW! Peep the title of this blog post. “All These Flavors … And You Choose Salty”. What exactly does that mean? Exactly what it says! No metaphors, no hidden messages, straight like that with no chaser!

I’ve touched on the topic of females knowingly being side chicks and being alright with holding that title. Me personally, I think it’s dumb and pathetic to demean yourself like that, but I’ve come to realize after lots of observation that too many of these chicks flat out don’t give a fuck. They do it purposely as though they have something to prove. They have to show that they are better than the next chick. They have to win. They’ll go above and beyond the call of duty of a side chick thinking it will cause that man to pay more attention to her than the rest of the chicks he’s dealing with. She’ll dress a little sexier, wear her jeans a little tighter, her skirts become shorter, her cleavage becomes more exposed. She’ll begin to walk a certain way, talk a certain way, suck and fuck him like a porn star so she can win and be able to stick her tongue out at the other bitches on some nan nan na boo boo type shit. She’s completely transformed herself into a decepti-thot to suit his needs. She’s changed herself without even realizing it, thinking she’ll have one up on the other chicks. Honey, sweetheart, sugar foots, baby cakes… let me tell you something. Let me tell all of you side chicks something. All of that is for naught! You played yourself. Because after he has his way with you, guess who he’s ultimately going back to? His wife, wifey, the one who holds his heart. The one who can stimulate more than just his dick. The one who challenges him to be better and believes in his dreams. The one who is above the silly young girl bullshit and is more focused on building a life with him. She actually, is the one I feel sorry for, not you silly salty bitches. You can suck a nigga’s dick until his toes are throwing up gang signs, and after that 15 minutes of pleasure, you still hold the same spot you held before- his thing of the moment. So what did you really win? Who did you really beat? What’s up with your low self-esteem, now? Better yet, how does that salt taste?

I had to write this blog post because I see far too many women on social media who brag about fucking another woman’s man. Why settle for being a man’s one of many instead of finding a man who will treat you like you’re one in a million. That shit ain’t cute and is a sure fire way of getting your fronts knocked out. Rarely does a situation ever work in the side chicks favor where a man leaves his real woman for the bitch he’s fucking on the side. And in few situations where the man does end up with the side chick, it’s because his woman done gave him a taste of his own medicine and his fragile male ego couldn’t handle it. In that regard, you still didn’t win. You’re just the plan B, the consolation prize, The I can’t have what I want so I might as well get what I can take, girl. And if you’re happy with that scenario, you don’t need to build your self-esteem up, honey you need to just go drink a cup of womanhood and find some self-esteem. While you’re at it, remember this: the same way you got him will be the same way you lose him. Look at Kevin Hart. Went on and on about how that girl was his rib and he fucked around and treated her like a McRib sandwich off the fucking McDonald’s dollar menu. Chile please.

As usual, if you liked the blog post, comment your thoughts. Share my blog on social media and make sure you subscribe to it. Halloween is coming so be sure to check out my book of short horror stories which can only be found on my official website. Be sure to check out my other hot reads available in eBook format and paperback, which include free shipping! Until next time folks! Smooches!

Stand by Your Felon

The Author Yani
The Author Yani

Hey Guys! Thanks for stopping by my blog once again. A couple people have wondered if I would Blog more than just once a week. Honestly, the thought has crossed my mind but if y’all look back through my blog, y’all can see at times I barely blogged once a month, let alone once a week. I’m doing my best to be a better blogger but some days I struggle with just being a better human being lol. So, baby steps and all that shit.
Let’s get down to this week’s topic! Stand by your felon! I bet some of y’all were looking at this title like “Huh? What the hell is she talking about?” Ladies, how many of you have dated a man for however long and then he unfortunately went to jail? Brothers, how about you? Did you immediately ride that jail bid out with him/her on some ride or die shit or were there stipulations involved that helped you make a decision as to whether or not you ride that bid out with him/her? For instance, if it was only a few months, could you do it? Maybe a year or two? If it was a petty crime like selling drugs or something typical like that, would you be able to turn the other cheek and claim that he/she was still a good person regardless? What if the jail bid was ten years and you had only been with him/her for two years or less? Could you see yourself being so in love with this person that you would be willing to put the next ten years of your life on hold for a man/woman? What if they had (allegedly) murdered someone or they committed armed robbery or some shit like that? Could you say, “That’s okay. It’s me and bae against the world.”? Have you ever? Let me tell y’all now…
NO THE FUCK I WOULD NOT. And this is why.
I had a homie who shall remain nameless that I had become friends with out of nowhere. I always thought he was cute but never pursued him because he was involved at the time. A year or so after I met him, I learned he had similar thoughts about me except now the tables were turned where I was talking to someone and he was single. My little situationship didn’t workout. (I gave that little nigga a chance when I should have left his ass on the short yellow bus where he belonged, calling himself trying to play me. Bish!) So me and Mr. Anonymous began going out to movies and basketball games and car shows and even made plans to go to Vegas for a Mayweather’s fight. We weren’t in a relationship but we liked each other. Then this little “case” popped up. Throughout our friendship he spoke at length about people who had done him wrong, family, past girlfriends blah blah blah, and me being young and stupid (remember my other blog post) I wanted to show him that there are people out here who genuinely care about others outside of themselves. His biggest worry was that he would be locked away with no one in his corner. He was facing 3-5. I liked dude. I really did and stupid me told him I would wait for him. We ended up falling out of contact with one another because of some sheisty shit he did with a business arrangement we were starting. We got back in touch close to time for him to turn himself in and he was on that same time about not having anyone in his corner. So I said take my address and phone number. You call or write whenever you need to talk and I got you. He was my homie despite what he had done. (I used to be a very forgiving person) So we began writing each other and once or twice a week he would call. Some confessions were made in one of the letters he wrote to me. And here is when things went all the way left. I reciprocated only for this ass clown to tell me he had a girlfriend. Bruh! What in three fucking hells? What are you writing me for and rapping about not having anybody and you got a whole chick!? So he lied for what exactly? Needless to say that friendship went south, not because he had a girlfriend the whole time but because he lied claiming he had no one in his corner when all that time he had a chick. So what the fuck did you need me for? To be the fall back girl in case the shit went south. Tuh, I’m nobody’s plan B. They’re married now to my understanding and I wish them all the best. That’s just my personal experience that brings me to my decision of not riding out a bid with a nigga in jail. Remember the book Flyy Girl by Omar Tyree and how Tracy was in love with the nigga Victor who took her virginity when she was thirteen? That nigga ended up going to jail and wrote to her talking about how much he cared about her and blah blah blah asking her to wait for him and shit. She did and guess what that nigga did when he got out? Married him a Muslim chick and left Tracy’s gullible ass high and dry. That’s reason number two. Now for my final nail in that coffin. I have seen too many a nigga who will have chick that stands by their repeat offender ass for years on top of years, only for the nigga to be fucking everything that will spread their legs for him behind that loyal, ride or die woman once he gains his freedom. Chicks put their lives on hold being faithful, doing the matrix past the dick, shuck and jive past the dick, duck and dodging the dick, curbing the shit out the dick, remaining loyal to their felons only for them to cheat with some raggamuffin ass bitches, pissing and shitting all over her loyalty. I CAN NOT! Stand by your felon? Shiiiiid. Life goes on baby. Some of y’all may disagree but the fact remains that if you did not put yourself in the situation that could cause you to be a modern day slave (prisoner) on the modern day plantation (penitentiary) there would be no need to have a woman put her life on hold standing by your ungrateful ass, only to be fucked over in the end.

Comment, like, subscribe and of course share my blog post on social media. Keep it respectful with your opinions. We’re all adults here so there’s no need to be rude. On the flip side of the coin, if you’re looking to peep scoop an awesome new book to read, visit my official online bookstore and purchase one of my awesome books. Free shipping comes with paperback orders and quick downloads for eBooks. Payments are secure through PayPal, but if you don’t have that, I accept the cash app as well. Thanks for stopping by! PEACE!

 

Ladies! Stop Caping For These Niggas

B7AD99F7-88E7-45A7-BB48-8F2E68EE5157Hey readers!! Thanks for stopping by my blog! As y’all can see from the title, I’m about to get into it again. I caught some heat from my last blog post, but hey, a hit dog will holler, right? The only reason folks would have been offended is if I was describing some of the fuck ass niggatry they are engaging in. So don’t get mad at me for speaking on the shit. If the shoe fits, make like DJ Unk and walk it out… right out of my blog. Side note: Word press, I’ma need y’all to allow folks to put emojis in our blog posts, please and thank you. Now let me get down to the meat and potatoes of this blog post. Keep in mind, I wouldn’t be able to speak on half of this shit if some of these niggas kept their fuck shit at a minimum.

Because we live in such a misogynistic society with men who come up with some of the most idiotic idealisms ever put out, women are constantly either jumping from one foot to another, or leaping through hoops doing what society has made us to believe we should be doing, and behaving how society has deemed we should be behaving in order for us to “get” and “keep” a man. Ever notice how you rarely hear men trying to teach other men how to get, treat, protect, respect and KEEP their women? Tell me why is it acceptable for men to discredit a woman if she has a child out of wedlock, children by more than one man, and is not all the way on her game (yet), but women are supposed to excuse the fact that a nigga might have five kids by four women, have bad credit, a criminal record as long as my arm, without a clue as to what the fuck he’s doing with his life while either trying to develop the next get rich quick scheme, or making mcminimum. What type of shit is that? I have mixed feelings about this idea being passed around on a meme that a woman should be willing to accept a man in a fucked up situation with nothing to offer, or she isn’t a real woman. And I think that’s what leads into chicks feeling like they need to cape for a nigga.

It’s one thing to be with a man who was on his A game, but due to unfortunate circumstances, he may have fell off. As his woman, of course you are supposed to have his back and help him get his shit together. But if you come across a man who is in a fucked up situation simply because he didn’t plan and execute, and he has more excuses for why he can’t than he has solutions for how he can, or he’s always blaming everyone else for why he isn’t where he needs to be or doing what he needs to be doing, you shouldn’t even be considering him as an option. And to be quite honest, if a nigga doesn’t have his shit together, the last thing he should be thinking about is hooking up with a woman in any way, shape, or form.

Because women are naturally nurturers, it’s like a second nature for us to want to be that rock. It’s natural for us to want to save a man who we’ve been (falsely) led to believe life has dealt him a fucked up hand. We want to show him how beautiful life can be. Mannnn fuck all of that. Stop caping for these niggas. Get out of the Build a Nigga business because 90% of the time after you groom this man, raise him up to greatness and help him achieve goals and realize dreams that he thought were beyond his reach, he takes that greatness some where else and a bitch that never would have looked at him twice when he was broke as hell with nothing to offer but excuses and broken promises, gets to reap the benefits of your hard work. Stop caping for these niggas that didn’t have anything when you found him wherever the hell you found him. It’s not our job because being a woman (especially a Black woman) is a hard enough job as it is. Get you a man who is your equal. Get you a man who already matches your hustle, or exceeds your hustle. Get you a man who compliments your greatness and the two of you can expand on that greatness together. Don’t fuck around and get you Benny from the block that doesn’t have a pot to piss in and a window to throw it out of thinking you’ll mold him into Prince Charming because he got “hood swag”. That shit doesn’t come with a 401K, mutual fund investments, stocks, life insurance or any real security. You’ll fuck around and wake up ten years later wishing you could travel back in time like Blake Griffin in those Kia Optima commercials so you can warn your younger self to run and never look back. Real shit. Don’t ever feel like you have to settle for a man because you think he MIGHT have potential. It’s a recipe for disaster.

Thanks for checking out my blog. Subscribe, share, and leave your comments. I love knowing what my readers think. Just keep it respectful. Make sure you stop by my online bookstore and cop up on some awesome reads! And stay tuned for my next blog post: Are you marriage material or mattress material? Peace!

Dating- Netflix and Chill- Situationships

I’m starting to think that dating has gone out of style like hi-top Reeboks and bobby-socks. Seriously. I know times have changed but got-damn, what the hell is Netflix and Chill? LOL! I swear I’m about to start blogging from my Galaxy so I can insert the proper emojis at the proper times LOL!

I have not dated in a while. After things with south with Demetrius and Dallas’ dad (for the umpteenth time, I swear I don’t know why I kept giving that ass-clown chances… wait… yeah I do… never mind) I said I was going to take a break, make sure I had myself together mentally, emotionally, financially because I partially believe that the people we attract are a reflection of ourselves. And man I was attracting some strange shit. Men with no aspirations to do anything other than the next get rich quick scheme, men who had absolutely no intentions of moving out of their parents’ home and getting a place of their own unless they were moving in with the chick of the moment, men who had no goals and that is not like me at all. So for the last two years, I haven’t had men to think about. I just wanted to get myself together.

Recently, I tried getting back into the scene again. And one thing I noticed is that a lot of guys are not taking women out on real dates. They aren’t courting women anymore. Every single guy that I came across wanted to “come see me”, “Come chill,” “watch a movie and chill”. (Enter wtf emoji face here). Just be up front about the shit and say can I come over and fuck. Like seriously bruh! Lets just be real! This is a real problem for me because I feel like, I can sit at home and chill by myself. I can watch Netflix and chill on my solo. The way I see it, this Netflix and Chill shit along with situationships came about two ridiculous ways…

1) Chicks lowered their standards. At the end of the day, Men pick, but Women choose and men are really only going to do what we allow them to do. If we allow them to not take us out and only come over to order cheap, bullshit Chinese food while watching cable TV or Netflix, then that’s what they’re going to do. By no means do I completely have a problem with that. But if every time I try to set something up for us to spend time together and the first thing that pops out of a Ninja’s mouth is  “Can I come see you?” or “Can I come chill?” to me, that says that he’s not looking for anything that serious, all he wants to do is “play”.

2) Guys are becoming cautious about taking women out on dates because (sorry to dime some of you women out- I’ve heard quite a few women admitting to doing this) a lot of times a women won’t like a guy but if he is paying for a date, dinner, movie or whatever, she’ll go out with him, knowing she really isn’t that interested in him. That’s happened so many times that now now men are guarding their time and guarding their pockets not wanting either of them to be wasted, preferring to just visit a woman at her house before going out on a real date.

I guess to solve the problem in number two would be for guys to pay attention to the signs. If you a chick doesn’t seem that into you when you’re talking to her on the phone or texting her but then suddenly perk up when you mention taking her out, you might want to re-think that. If she doesn’t respond to your texts until you mention a date and then all of a sudden she’s coordinating where to take her, you might want to rethink that.

To solve the problem in number 1, chicks, stop being so quick to let these guys come over to your house and chill. Get to know his intentions before you’re all snuggled up with him on the couch and then before you know it, you’re bent over and in a situationship that you’re mistaking for a relationship and he just sees you as somebody he’s kicking it with.

I peep game with these guys now. If all you want to do is chill, I’m not for you, bruh.